Do not pass go, do not collect $200 – go straight to SP Jail

We are back in Sp Jail. Just finish 2 days of exam and I am totally sleep deprived. Classes have stared and everyone has quickly resumed their roles:

1. coco of coco's - Girish [Will give a lecture on how to find a wife who's loving enough to make great egg sandwiches each morning]
2. Light - Zoeb [Will give a lecture on how to stay invisible and top the class]
3. Sound - Sharad [Will give a lecture on how to translate Contact 1 lecture CDs, compressed using SPJIMR's super-advanced technology, from whistling sounds to English]
4. Bak bak - Shobhana [Will give a lecture on the iFlex-E&Y Magic Quadrant]
5. Entertainment - Ashok [and the ‘art of sleeping, alt class Sleep-asana in Dinesh's room
6. Concentration - Wasim [Will give a lecture on how to sleep with your eyes open and not get caught]
7. Information/research - Ivor [Will give a lecture on How to enhance shareholder value by surfing in class]
8. Spiritual - Kiran [Will give a lecture on how to see no evil, talk no evil, think no evil]
9. Lunch/Dinner - prashant [Will give a lecture on how eating alone improves digestion]
10. Fed-ex - Charles [Will give a lecture on how to get free DHL watches]
11. Time - Sheenam [Will give a lecture on priorities in time management and the importance of a sound breakfast as compared to the importance of the lecture]
12. Co-ordination - Patvir [Will give a lecture on the co-ordination factors between MRP and India's nuclear policy and porn]
13. Partying - Gaju [Will give a lecture on how to party till 5 am and yet manage to convince Prof Mon(e)y that he was sick
14. Question of the day - Manish [Will give a lecture on how to ask random tangential questions during each lecture]
15. Sweet Love - Dinesh [longevity and durability or what I learnt in Ashok and Girsh's room last night]
16. Weight Control - Rajkumar [Will give a lecture on how to hog Uday's rich food and still lose weight]
17. Jokes - Arvind -[lecture on sending a constant stream of Santa-Banta jokes throughout all lectures]
18. Alt Light - Joytisman

awesome

This is not mine, just what someone forwarded, but it's awesome so i'm putting it here.

(With that low monotonous Detective voice) I was sitting in my office when a case came in. So I finished two bottles from it.I was tough, so tough I wore my clothes out from the inside.Suddenly a tall blonde walked past my window. I knew she was tall because I was on the second floor.The phone rang and I knew something was wrong. I didn't have a phone.It was a girl and she was in trouble. I knew she was, 'cause she said so.I raced down the stairs and called a cab. The cab stopped with a jerk.Then the jerk got out and I got in.We took the corner at hundred kilometres per hour, but a cop stoppedUs and told us to put the corner back.We kept on the pavement, because there was a sign that said:"Keep Death Off Our Roads".Then we were out of the city. I knew it, because we were not hitting so many pedestrians.As we came to her house, she greeted me with a burning kiss.Then she Took the cigarette out and kissed me again.She pointed two thirty-eights at me. She also had a gun.She had the most beautiful blonde hair I have ever seen - hanging from her left nostril.She had teeth like the ten commandments - all broken.She also had the most beautiful eyes - so beautiful that the one eye could not stop looking at the other one.There was a man on the floor. He had stab wounds in his heart, bullet wounds in his head and his wrists were slashed.He was dead.I said: "Lady, if this man was alive, he sure would be ill".So I took her for a drive to calm her nerves.Suddenly a brick came flying through the window and hit her on the left breast - breaking three of my fingers.We had a flat tyre, so I pumped and she pumped and I pumped.Then we got out and fixed the flat tyre.Then I took her home and as I was kissing her goodnight, her father opened the door and stepped on my back, almost breaking it.As I was giving her a final good-night kiss, she closed her legs and broke my nose.Now I am more careful on my assignments.

Rashmee?

My brother and i were sitting in the hall and he pointed to the above painting and said that whenever he looked at this painting, he was reminded of Rashmee. He said that Gauri had painted this after she met Rashmee and he figured that she was the subconscious inspiration for this painting. i looked closely and there is defiantly some resemblance. You be the judge.

"Feign ignorance"

Yesterday, I dropped my new PDA phone- I am still very cross at myself for the sheer carelessness. When I told Rashmee – she suggested that I should feign ignorance as to how the phone got spoilt – I told her that I didn’t have the requisite body parts nor the smile to make that excuse fly!!!
This morning I went to the dealer to give the phone for repair. As I entered the store I saw that the proprietor was on a stool –facing the make shift temple and praying – so I waited…
She turned around and even as she heard me tell her that I had dropped my phone – she says’ don’t tell them that, just say you have no idea what happened!!!” and turned right back and continued her prayers!!!!
Do women do a course which we men have no idea about?

in school in earnest

I spent all weekend at home -studying. The last time I studied for a whole weekend must have been in 1986 – TYBcomm- that was a life time ago!!! It was quite a battle - a battle against sunday napping and lazying, boredom and TV addiction.
We did manage to finish 80% of what we set out to do, but my Sunday evening i was ready to go out -even if it meant for a walk.
Fortunately Neera was also at a loose end so met her for a coffee.

Going for a movie alone

Yesterday was Monday and an assignment deadline day. i had 3 assignments to submit and didn’t think I would be budging out of my chair till midnight. Come 10.40 and i had miraculously finished and uploaded all my assignments. and so I thought I should reward myself by going for a movie. Called Ekta and her phone was not reachable, Neera and she had people over for dinner - she did ask me to come over but I had my heart set on a movie - so down the list I went - called Vispi and she was already in bed and the thought of Ghost rider was definitely not appealing! of course since Rashmee had recommended it - I wanted to go. Since all my current movie buddies were unavailable and it being 10.50 I decided to go for the 11.00 show. Alone!the next day all the above-including Rashmee – strangely enough felt sorry for me!! Going to the movies alone is not that socially stigmatizing. Think about it.. you’re not there to talk anyway. The only time you’d possibly feel alone is while you are driving and even then you have your mobile to chat while you drive!!!

Finally one more

this is is dedicated to Rashmee - a celebrity in the making

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like mine?

A break is a break is a break, no matter how long we chose to take off. Rashmee had an awesome idea to go for a long weekend to Goa at he end of march. We decided beginning of the month and the end of the month raced forward

29th March

My girlfriend is coming to town! my girlfriend is coming to town!!! So I decided to go early to Bandra and waited with bated breath. Through the chaos in the airport I see her smiling face – my holiday has begun!!!

First stop was Gazaali – had an amazing sea food meal – we are gearing up for Goa

30th March

Waking up at 4.30 for a flight – even to Goa- is way to early. Fortunately the Air Deccan flight was only 50 minutes late.

We got into a Ambassador cab- sat in one after ages – must say it a really comfortable car from the back seat. The Driver was racing against his urge to pee – which finally won 5 minutes before we reached Bagga!!

We reached Cavala Resort – it is located at the end of Baga beach:

Amazingly, though the season was over, they didnt have a single room free. We arrived at 9.00 and were told that the room would only be available by 1.00pm!!!

And since our room was not ready we hit the pool. Rashmee and I quickly decided the sides of the pool we liked – her in the shade and me in the sun!!

By the afternoon we heard that the chinmulgund's (and for the politically correct that would be Nisha Koppikar and Vikram Chinmulgund).had decided to join us in Goa. Some more lazying by the poolside was followed by a restful afternoon nap and then dinner at J&A. Nisha discovered Tetris as a mean to conter Ashok and Rashmee's extreme PDA<<Awesome Pate!!>>>

Dinner was followed by a walk on the beach outside Brittos – Goa is truly spectacular!! We even managed to get Vikram to smoke and hit the bottle...

After which we went for a coffee to Café Coffee Day – the service was dismal. Obviously they need to learn the difference between Fudge and Chocolate Sauce and oh yes they need to stop outsourcing staff training to Lila Café!! (more on that later). i however was not letting anything spoil my Goa experiance!!!

31st March

The moment of reasoning was here – had been repeatedly told that waking up IPG(aka Rashmee) was a Herculean task. But lo and behold- I woke up at 7.30 only to realize that Rashmee was very much awake!! Wow!! The breakfast at Cavala is highly recommended! The Chinmulgund’s (and for the politically correct that would be Nisha Koppikar and Vikram Chinmulgund).joined us for breakfast and we decided to go to the Marjorim beach.

The bridge to cross over to Aprpora was hell – my bike stopped there each time we did the crossover – hence the start of the hand break joke!!

The Marjorim beach was very beautiful but the food was very average!!!

Having had enough by mid afternoon we headed back to Baga.

We stopped at Lila Café and had some interesting food. The service was, as always, Nazi style- they refused to grill our sandwich cause THEY felt it wouldn’t taste good!!!<>

Dinner was at Suza Lobo. Food was average. After that we went to the Tito’s Bakery – the desserts were awesome – a Banoffe Pie,Merengue and a chocolate éclair

Rashmee and Nisha had still not had enough!! They wanted to party a bit more!! So we got back to Cavala and sat at the bar there. Had this gentleman come up and belt an amazing Louis Armstrong – I was thinking English, maybe German – when we lets out a guttural ‘Panchooo’ – a surd from sialkot no doubt!! After which Remo who was also at the bar came on stage and gave an amazing performance.

1st April

No it was not an all fools joke!! Rashmee was awake yet again at the crack of dawn! All of us had breakfast and we hit the Bagga beach rather early. We went straight to the Zanzibar shack.



















































































After a few beers the girls decided to indulge in artistic expression. The result was a renderation of Ayesha Takia in the sand!!!

Not to be left behind, I displayed my talent at balancing a bottle on my belly!!

More beers and a fab meal at Zanzibar was followed by a long nap and then we were off to Feista for dinner.

The food at Feista was by far the best of the trip

2^nd April – all good things must come to an end

The last of the round table breakfast with the Chinmulgund’s (and for the politically correct that would be Nisha Koppikar and Vikram Chinmulgund).

Rashmee and I spent the morning by the poolside while the Chinmulgund’s (and for the politically correct that would be Nisha Koppikar and Vikram Chinmulgund) went for a long drive and a long walk on the beach.

A cab ride and a plane ride later we had reached Bombay airport (and for the politically correct that would be The Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport)